• I’m on a blood thinner, because I have a tendency to form blood clots–DVTs (for deep vein thrombosis) in the professional jargon of the white coats, which can be dangerous when hiking around in your circulatory system. The only danger of the blood thinner that scientists have warned me about concerns the increased possibility of a brain bleed if I should fall and strike my head. It’s lucky, then, that I have a dim view of ICE and so did not faint when I heard the news that the officers who shot the Venezuelan migrant in north Minneapolis during “Operation Metro Surge” were lying about the circumstances.

    This was the incident where the ICE guys reported being assaulted by some mean brown-skinned people wielding a snow shovel and a broom. They either had to shoot or get beat senseless with these fearsome weapons, according to them. It sounded more like a mad caper in a Coen Bros movie than a plausible account of something that happened in north Minneapolis. I’m suggesting that the officers shouldn’t have been believed, even if they didn’t work for Kristi Noem, who should never be believed herself on the ground that people who have “had some work done” are inherently untrustworthy. Also, it’s just a fact that she lies like fish swim. If I were one of the lying ICE guys who was about to get prosecuted for lying, I’d wonder why MAGA Barbie is still jetting around the country, lying in geographically diverse venues, and firing her military pilot for losing track of her snuggle blanket. (According to the Wall Street Journal, she had to rescind the firing, as there was no one else immediately available to fly her to her next destination.)

    I just wheeled my cart past all the Valentines bullshit in the grocery store this evening. My sympathies to the marrieds. At least you’re not apt to get shot in the leg without so much as raising a broomstick in a threatening manner.

  • Don’t know anything about Bad Bunny, but based on his enemies, I’m beginning to look forward to the halftime show. I remember that the Speaker of the House, when Bad Bunny was first selected, opined that Lee Greenwood would have been a better choice. Maybe Lee wasn’t available, like there was a conflict with a planned activity at the rest home, because I see they secured instead, for their alternate show, Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett. All true Americans, no doubt, as compared to Bad Bunny, who is a US citizen like all the other Puerto Ricans. Since he is said to be unwholesome, and not representative of American values, I read the Wikipedia article on alternate headliner Kid Rock. Some selections:

    Robert James Ritchie (born January 17, 1971), known professionally as Kid Rock, is an American musician, singer, rapper, and songwriter . . . .

    In eighth grade, Ritchie began an on-and-off relationship with classmate Kelley South Russell that lasted for the next decade. In summer 1993 Russell gave birth to their son, Robert James Ritchie Jr. They raised a total of three children together, two of whom Ritchie believed to be his. They split up in late 1993 when Ritchie discovered that only one of the two was his. . . .

    In March 1991 and again in September 1997, Ritchie faced misdemeanor charges stemming from alcohol-related arrests in Michigan.

    Kid Rock wrote and performed the song “Cool, Daddy Cool,” [with] the controversial lyrics “Young ladies, young ladies, I like ’em underage see, Some say that’s statutory, (But I say it’s mandatory.)” In February 2026, in light of Kid Rock being the scheduled headliner of the Turning Point USA halftime show intended to compete with the Super Bowl halftime show, the song’s lyrics received renewed scrutiny. . . .

    In January 2005, Ritchie performed at the inaugural address of reelected George W Bush, sparking criticism from conservative groups, due to singing about “how he sexually exploits every girl and then asks if he can do it with their moms. “

    Also in 2005, Ritchie was charged with assaulting a DJ in a strip club.

    In 2006, California pornographic film company Red Light District attempted to distribute a 1999 sex tape in which Kid Rock and Scott Stapp, lead singer of the band Creed, are seen partying and receiving oral sex from groupies; both Rock and Stapp filed with the California courts to sue the pornographers to stop the tape’s distribution.

    At the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, Ritchie got into a fight with Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee … and was charged with assault. A month later he was arrested and charged with battery after fighting with a Waffle House customer. He pleaded no contest to one count and was fined $1000. . .

    .In June 2021, Kid Rock attracted further controversy for using the word “faggot” onstage during a tirade. . . . In July 2022 he faced additional accusations of homophobia . . . after he posted a meme on Truth Social and on Twitter stating, “If you’re anti-gun, you don’t get to celebrate the 4th of July. You would have never fought back. Enjoy your pride month. Pussy.”

    On the other hand, Bad Bunny speaks Spanish.

    ADDENDUM

  • Daughters are with their mom for the weekend, but I got a text from my high school senior that makes me think my work is nearly done.

    I’m not saying other parents shouldn’t feel at least as proud. Just today, one of my fellow dads here in the Peoples Republic of Minneapolis posted the following to social media:

    My goal as a parent was always to raise better men than me.

    I just received a video from one son of my other son juggling dildos outside the Whipple Building.

    There are many things I could have done better but I can’t really argue with the results.

    In the Comments people begged to see the vid, and–in case you’re into a demonstration of dexterity with dildos– he obliged. I guess videographer son was briefly arrested for impoliteness toward a federal goon, so another reason for dad to be proud..

    Also today, Sen. Jon Ossoff, D-Georgia, in a speech in Atlanta, asked:

    Why are roving gangs of masked men–who look like they couldn’t pass the Army physical exam–dressed up like pretend Delta Force operators, on our streets, demanding papers, dragging people from their cars, shooting them to death?

    I’m afraid I might have missed some of the descriptors he applies to these losers. You can check my work here. The passage I was attempting to transcribe starts at about 15:50, but the whole thing is worth watching. His parents have my permission to be proud, too. He didn’t go to Duke, isn’t a lawyer, and, at 38, is about half the age of the average senator, which is maybe why he appears capable of something more than the occasional “strongly worded letter” that Chuck Schumer brags about having composed.

  • Reading emails addressed to Valley View Staff can be a bit of an emotional roller coaster these days, especially if those muscles have been atrophied by the accumulation of years augmented by Scandinavian heritage. We were informed a few days ago that a judge had ordered the release of our now world famous pre-k student and his dad, and then that the two of them were safely back in Columbia Heights. After those two had been detained and whisked off to the detention center in Texas, but before they were released, the school office got a call, one day last week, from the mother of two of our students, a fifth grader and his second-grade brother. She’d been detained that morning and wanted her boys delivered to her at the Whipple Building–there was no one else to take care of them, she said. This was done. The principal gave the boys the news, then drove them down there with a couple of other staff members. Can’t imagine that car ride, or saying good-bye to the kids before they walked alone through a door: uff da. The next day they were in Texas.

    Now those boys have been released, along with their mother, and are back home as well. The boys cleared up a mystery about another Valley View student with whom the school had lost touch, a fifth grade girl who had not been in school since the first week after winter break. When kids are absent and the school doesn’t hear from a care giver, we try to make contact, to find out what’s going on, but in this case those efforts had failed–because, it turns out, she’d also been detained, with her mom and stepfather, and the released boys reported having seen her in the Texas detention center. That’s how we found out what had happened to her: from two of our other students who had also been detained. Now we learn, in a message from the superintendent, that this girl has also been released, though she is not back in Minnesota: apparently the measles outbreak at the detention center has forced her to quarantine somewhere first.

    I haven’t often seen it directly stated, but these releases, while good news, amount to a tacit admission that the detainments were unjust from the start. In the case of the 5-year-old and his dad, their release was ordered by a judge. I think that’s the only one triggered by a court action. According to school officials, all these detained parents had a legal right to be in our country–an open asylum petition, for instance. The total number of deportation orders in these cases is zero. People are being swept up and, within hours, flown with their young children to a “detention center” more than a thousand miles away, where unknown federal bureaucrats leisurely conclude that “mistakes have been made.”

    Unless it’s not a mistake, and the purpose isn’t to pursue justice and enforce our laws but, rather, to inflict pain and arouse fear.

    UPDATE: This morning comes news that the federal government has requested that the asylum claim of the 5-year-old’s family be expedited, closed, and an order for deportation entered. The family’s lawyer says the request is highly unusual and best understood as a retaliatory measure. Cross us, or be the cause of one of our many embarrassments, and we will make things worse for you. Be very afraid.

  • I confess I take a generally dim view of things, which inclines me to think there’s no justice in the world, but, on the other hand, look who’s inhaling even Fartcoin’s exhaust:

  • Consecutive posts from the FB group, Columbia Heights Public Schools.

    Last night:

    This morning:

    Also, there is a measles outbreak at the detention center in Texas where four more of the district’s schoolchildren are being held.

  • Journalist and author Garrett Graff has been looking into the crime rate among agents and officers of CBP (Customs and Border Protection). Some of his findings, as recently revealed in testimony before an Illinois state commission:

    Criminality is so rampant within CBP that it has seen one of its own agents or officers arrested every 24 to 36 hours since 2005 . . . .

    In total, according to CBP’s own discipline reports, over the 20 years from 2005 to 2024–the last year numbers are available–at least 4,913 CBP officers and Border Patrol agents have been arrested themselves, some multiple times . . . . To put that number in perspective:

    The population of CBP agents and officers who have been arrested would make it roughly the nation’s fourth largest police department–equal to the size of the entire Philadephia police.

    Indeed, for much of the 2010s and likely before and since, it appears the crime rate of CBP agents and officers was higher per capita than the crime rate of undocumented immigrants in the United States.

    People of Minneapolis: “You don’t say?”

    Transcript of Graff’s Fresh Air interview on this subject, here. YouTube video of his testimony before the commission, here.

  • As predicted, I stalled along the long open road of Henry Adams’s History of the US, but, as reading in bed is still my Ambien, I was lucky to stumble again upon the novels of Evelyn Waugh. The one everyone knows is Brideshead Revisited, which was made into a movie as well as a lauded miniseries starring Jeremy Irons. Maybe these are great, I don’t know: Waugh, however, wrote at least a half dozen novels that are way better than Brideshead. The “half dozen” I have in mind are his first two, Decline and Fall (1928) and Vile Bodies (1930), which were followed in 1932 by his best book, A Handful of Dust, and then, years later, by the long Sword of Honor trilogy, wherein Waugh’s World War II experience is turned to fiction in which one can luxuriate for months of bedtimes. There are many others–he was prolific–but I’d say these six are his “indispensable works.”

    For most of his adult life Waugh was a right-wing Catholic who would have thought the demise of the Latin Mass a sign of Western Civ’s collapse–and therefore somewhat of a strange bedfellow for me. I can’t now remember whether I knew this about him when I first laughed aloud in bed while reading Decline and Fall and Vile Bodies. Doesn’t matter. He was a gifted humorist and satirist. Imagine if Hemingway’s attitude toward his rootless hedonists had been one of urbane disdain. Waugh performs from on high the labor of a vivisectionist. If someone were to complain that the books are cartoons, my recourse would be to confess that I guess I love cartoons. Then, fresh off a honeymoon delayed by a lack of funds, Waugh’s wife leaves him for another man, he takes Catholicism as his new bride, and the comic elements of the first two novels, though still present, serve a deeper purpose in A Handful of Dust.

    The novel divides nicely into two parts. The first is set in London and Hetton, a fictional town about a half-day’s train ride away. Tony Last lives at Hetton with his wife and young son. His wife, Lady Brenda, starts spending a lot of time in London, and eventually takes a flat there because, she explains, she’s signed up for an extension course in economics. Personal development, and all that. Actually, of course, she’s having an affair with a fellow, John Beaver, who’s sufficiently ridiculous to have fit right into Vile Bodies. The scenes of Beaver prosecuting his feckless routines, which include spending a fair amount of time sponging drinks at his men’s club, are continuous with the two earlier novels. He’s thirtyish and still dependent upon his mother, who is also a piece of work–she’s the one who rents the flat to Brenda. Comedy arises from the reader’s suspicion, and then knowledge, of Brenda’s infidelity long before Tony suspects a thing. He never really suspects a thing. Their son dies in an accident at Hetton while Brenda is pursuing her pleasures in London. Tony stays behind to make arrangements while a friend travels to London to tell Brenda and bring her back to Hetton. With great skill, Waugh manages to describe a kind of suspended time in which Tony, devastated by loss, is watching a clock and calculating when Brenda will get the news. If he’d been worldly enough to know what she’s been up to, he might have hoped that they’d be brought back together by their common pain, but the boy’s death removes her last connection to her husband and she finally has to write him a note:

    You must have realized for some time that things were going wrong.

    I am in love with John Beaver and I want to have a divorce and marry him. If John Andrew had not died things might not have happened like this. I can’t tell. As it is, I simply can’t begin over again. Please do not mind too much. I suppose we shan’t be allowed to meet while the case is on but I hope afterwards we shall be great friends. Anyway I shall always look on you as one whatever you think of me.

    Best love from

    Brenda

    “Please do not mind too much.” “I hope afterwards we shall be great friends.” One feels that in the characterization of the self-seeking, vacuous Brenda there are ten million daggers aimed at Waugh’s ex, and in that case, English literature benefited from his private troubles. The way in which the comedy settles into tragedy, but lives on enough to mix an element of the farcical into the woe, is something new in Waugh.

    In the second half, Tony goes on a journey to South America. His old life, wife and son, is gone, and he needs, as is said, to “find himself.” (Waugh is contemptuous of all the peppy talk self-transcenders pep themselves up with.) This general situation always makes me think of the scene in Dances with Wolves where Kevin Costner says something along the lines of never really having known who he was until he came to live with the Indians, thereby inspiring the critic Pauline Kael to comment, “Dances with Wolves is a kid’s daydream of being an Indian. Costner has feathers in his hair and feathers in his head.” Waugh expands somewhat upon Kael’s acerbity. The wasteland of London’s “civilized” people is, in A Handful of Dust, implicitly contrasted to the uncivilized one in the Amazonian interior, where the locals, when Tony and his guide attempt to communicate with them, seem interested only in whether they have a good supply of cigarettes. “You have cigarettes?” Later, another faltering inquiry, and then, “You have cigarettes?” I said the contrast is “implicit” but this isn’t always true. Tony’s troubles in the jungle are sometimes interrupted by descriptions of what’s currently going on back in London. Early in the book, a man in Beaver’s men’s club, a Minister of Parliament, asks the bartender whether he knows anything about pigs:

    “No, why?”

    “Only that they keep writing to me about them from my constituency.”

    A bit of chit chat that advances Waugh’s general theme of decadence and waste, since the MP, who evidently represents a rural district, is seeking information from a bartender at his men’s club about topics of vital interest to his constituents. Maybe he would want to study up a little himself, perhaps from a more reliable source, such as, say, a hog farmer in his district? But Waugh isn’t done with the matter. One of the “interruptions” to Tony’s Amazonian debacle goes like this:

    Ten o’clock on the river Waurupang was question time at Westminster. For a long time now Jock had had a question which his constituents wanted him to ask. It came up that afternoon.

    “I should like to ask the Minister of Agriculture whether in view of the dumping in this country of Japanese pork pies, the right honourable member is prepared to consider a modification of the eight and a half score basic pig from two and a half inches of thickness around the belly as originally specified, to two inches.”

    Replying for the Minister, the under-secretary said: “The matter is receiving the closest attention. As the honourable member is no doubt aware the question of the importation of pork pies is a matter for the Board of Trade, not for the Board of Agriculture. With regard to the specifications of the basic pig, I must remind the honourable member that, as he is doubtless aware, the eight and a half score pig is modelled on the requirements of the bacon curers and has no direct relation to pig meat for sales in pies. That is being dealt with by a separate committee who have not yet made their report.”

    “Would the honourable member consider an increase of the specified maximum of fatness on the shoulders?”

    “I must have notice of that question.”

    Jock left the House that afternoon with the comfortable feeling that he had at last done something tangible in the interests of his constituents.

    Tony Last dies in South America, away from such scenes never returns from South America, where, near the novel’s conclusion, he’s subjected to absurdities that transcend question time at Westminster. The author’s newly minted Catholic faith is not overt in A Handful of Dust, but it isn’t hard to imagine that he might be the kind who’d seek solace in elaborate liturgies chanted in a dead language. He appears to have little hope for this world, or the people in it. There must be some relief, somewhere.


  • One day a few weeks ago I was dining in the school lunchroom when a kid a table over suddenly began vomiting just as a first grade teacher was striding into the room to collect her class. She veered from her original course and, as she’d already been moving, arrived at the scene of the trouble before anyone else. From behind, she put one hand under each armpit of the puker and lifted him out of there before too much more could drip into his lap. Then she stood guard over the puddle, holding one small and possibly contaminated hand, until reinforcements arrived. All in a day’s work. If you’d like to see her in less trying circumstances:

    https://www.facebook.com/reel/1580063246528085

    Crazy, crazy times at Ms. Fultz’s school, Valley View Elementary in Columbia Heights, Minnesota. Even before our pre-k student was nabbed by ICE–what a relief to get him and his bunny-eared stocking cap off the streets!–attendance had dropped precipitously. Parents are supposed to call in if their kid is going to be absent, and if they don’t, someone from the school office calls them. Consequently we knew that out of fear people were staying home instead of prosecuting their normal routines, which had included delivering their kids to Valley View in the morning and picking them up in the afternoon. To boost attendance, school staff have volunteered to walk kids to and from school. I guess there are legal reasons district employees can’t drive kids in their cars, but with the permission of parents, we can walk with them. I often see a group when I’m getting close to school in the morning. They go from house to house picking up kids, their number slowly accruing until they have everyone, and then they walk to school together.

    I believe there are like six neighborhood zones, times five days in a week, morning and afternoon, so about 60 shifts per week. All slots are filled by a volunteer, people like Ms. Fultz. It adds an hour to the work day, it’s cold out, the eastern sky just brightening in the a.m., and they need a plan for what to do if harassed, or worse, by agents of their own federal government.

    On the theory that laughter is good medicine for surviving life in Dystopia:

  • A picture of the 5-year-old Valley View student being detained by ICE Tuesday afternoon after school. According to our superintendent, the family has an open asylum case with a “no deport” order. Nevertheless, the pre-k student is “being held at a detention center in Texas.” A report by the local CBS affiliate, here. And Sahan Journal, here. The picture, in the Sahan Journal piece, of his teacher wiping away tears while listening to district officials talk about her student at a press conference today, is just about more than I can tolerate. Three other Columbia Heights students have been detained, two high-schoolers and a 10-year-old. What fresh hell next? “This is not the worst, so long as we can say, ‘This is the worst.’”

    It doesn’t make anyone safer, obviously. As has been said, the cruelty is the point.