Eric the Blue

On Sunday (Easter), our president announced:

Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP.

Until I transcribed the message, I hadn’t considered the key stroking effort needed to produce “Fuckin’,” as opposed to “Fucking.” Doin’ his best to sound like Joe Pesci. Yesterday, elaborating, he stretched to hit some world-historical notes:

A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have Complete and Total Regime Change, where different, smarter, and less radicalized minds prevail, WHO KNOWS? We will find out tonight, one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the World. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death, will finally end. God Bless the Great People of Iran.

Then last night, about 90 minutes before the threatened Doomsday in Iran, he made another announcement:

Based on conversations with Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif and Field Marshal Asim Munir, of Pakistan, and wherein they requested that I hold off the destructive force being sent tonight to Iran, and subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks.

This will be a double sided CEASEFIRE! The reason for doing so is that we have already met and exceeded all MILITARY objectives, and are very far along with a definitive Agreement concerning the Longterm PEACE with Iran, and PEACE in the Middle East. We received a 10 point proposal from Iran, and believe it is a workable basis on which to negotiate . . . .

Several media outlets reported that Iran’s 10-point plan, which according to Trump “is a workable basis on which to negotiate,” includes:

2. Continuation of Iran’s control over the Strait of Hormuz

3. Acceptance that Iran can enrich uranium for its nuclear program

7. End of all International Atomic Energy Agency resolutions on Iran’s nuclear program

8. Compensation payment to Iran for war damage

There are six others. If the game was checkers, Iran would be making kings of all their pawns, which is how the cultists know that Trump is playing a more subtle game.