Eric the Blue

I understand that some people, as a kind of morbid hobby, scan the obits and impulsively read the ones for fresh decedents younger than themselves. It occurred to me today, while hacking at the 2 tons of crusty snow the plow left at the bottom of my driveway, that the audience for mine is dwindling. For it seems I’ve reached the age at which dog walkers, having pronounced the normal pleasantries, feel obliged to advise “Well, take it easy with that” while nodding at the remains of the snow heap. Two out of the three of them who passed during the half hour or so I was at it thought to issue this advisory. Might as well have added an “old man” at the end: “Take it easy with the shoveling, old man.” Apparently I do not resemble the 6th-grader who in gym class had one of the top times in the 600-yard run.

Also, I recently noticed that an upcoming routine visit to the doctor was coded on MyChart as a “Medicare wellness check.” At the appointment I discovered what that entailed. After taking my blood pressure and asking whether I felt safe at home, the nurse said she was going to say three words and ask later whether I could remember them. She then uttered the words before giving me a piece of paper with a big circle on it and the instruction to fill in a clock with hands indicating 11:10. When I’d done that, she asked what the three words were. I feel I did well, but am a little nervous, because the nurse did not say that, based on my performance, I should be President of the United States.

People magazine understands that would be ridiculous but for some reason the news boys and girls seem surprised that the current occupant’s approval rating has fallen to 40 percent. That it’s north of 10 seems like a bad sign to this acer of the dementia screening test.